Recently people have been asking me what exactly my blog is all about. I started out replying that it was all about my life journey, the lessons I had learned. About enjoying yoga and turning this into quality time with my kids. About traveling and discovering the wonders of the world through the eyes of my children. About spiritual growth and finding happiness along the way. About turning this society into one which supports and encourages strong independent single working mums!
However it would seem my readers got stuck on the first word : single. Amazing, out of the total phrase “single mum travels for yoga” the only thing which really stands out is “single”. I could see question marks rising “what about your boyfriend?”. And eyebrows frowning “but you have a baby!”. And yes even the b*tchy “that’s karma for you!” from some women. Come on girls, in this day and age we should all be shouldering each other, not tearing our sisters down !
Labels seem to be of upmost importance in our daily lives. You’re either psychotic or neurotic. My own family even ganged up on me once insisting I would be schizophrenic. I just laughed “haha, really?!” – but this is another story. With the bottom line being never to second guess yourself. And never ever let anyone make you doubt your own sanity.
The label being questioned now is my marital status. I have a serious problem with this. Whenever I’m filling in any formalities, sooner or later the question gets asked whether I am either of the following : single, married, divorced, widowed. Now I happen to be divorced. I am fine with that. Been there, bought the t-shirt.
What bothers me is that this is going to be my status till the end of my days, unless I re-marry. Why ? Why do I have to carry this ‘shameful’ label with me? Why can’t I just be single again ? Surely the status of ‘divorced’ should wear off after a time. Just like with cancer, you can be declared cancer-free after 5 years. Then why can’t we be declared divorce-free after 5 years ?
Anyhow the question still remains how I define myself. I’m divorced. I have a boyfriend. We bought a house together. Yet we don’t live together. The baby of 10 months is mine too. Yet we’ve been together now for 4 years. You see, to the outside world this doesn’t add up. And you know what ? That’s fine. I can live with that.
I’ve learned that it is OK to live a life which nobody understands.
You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t have to justify your actions to anybody. The only important thing is that you live your life by the standards and values you set for yourself. It is important that when you look at yourself in the mirror each morning, you can say to yourself : you’re doing just great !
— The universe (here and now)