Did you know that you can change your kids’ lives in just a few minutes each day? Spending quality time with children has proven time and time again to reduce stress and improve your relationship with your littles. Establish a daily habit of being mindful of which voice you use to talk to your kids. Before you know it, you’ll start to see and feel the benefits of how your calmness effects the mind of your children.
But don’t take my word for it
As parents, we all want to hear praising words from outsiders about our children : “oh he’s so polite”, “isn’t she just so helpful” and “what a happy baby”. Kindness isn’t something we’re born with – it is something we are taught. The way we talk to our kids becomes their inner voice later on in life. Therefore it is important to consistently parent with firmness, yes, but with kindness also.
Hate and fear are concepts which children are taught from an early age as they learn to mirror their parents’ behaviour. That’s how they learn to hate all the people their relatives hate. In just the same way, children are taught to love, to respect themselves and each other, and to perform acts of kindness.
Other important aspects of “savoir vivre” are also taught from an early age onwards. Concepts such as “chosing is always a little bit losing”, helps your children in being able to make decisions and to understand the consequences of those choices. If you fail to teach your children properly, they will grow into inadequate adults.
Always be kind
The world out there is already harsh enough as it is. So how do we keep the world a beautiful place for our babes ? My eldest son wants to be a vet. My daughter wants to develop her artistic talents. And my baby boychild is obviously going to be either astro-physicist or neuro-surgeon. No matter what they actually turn out to be later on in life, what I want most of all for them is happiness.
Being a happiness junkie myself, I know that happiness depends on several factors :
1. Your natural ability for happiness. I happen to be a sad person myself, which is why I have to make a conscious effort every day to be happy. This used to require a lot of my attention at first, to keep re-adjusting my attitude. Now with time I notice that the happy muscle has become more flexed and this state of mind feels more natural to me.
2. Your living conditions. Living in a happy home, with good healthy food on the table and kind people around you does really contribute to a great extent to your overall wellbeing. I wanted nothing more than “little house on the prairie”. I believe I am lucky enough to have found just that. The simple, joyous way of living.
3. Creative expression and your ability to make those around you happy. This is a no-brainer. Even my baby boy has understood this simple fact : I smile at people, then people smile back, and when people smile back at me, I feel happy. Let’s continue doing more of this. It’s a win-win situation all around.
The school of life
Home is ideally the school of love. As Stephen Sondheim wisely warns:
Careful the things you say, children will listen.
Careful the tale you tell, that is the spell,
What do you leave to your kids when you’re dead?
Only whatever you put in their head.
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others.
— The universe (here and now)