You’re at the receiving end of a smear campaign and you’re wondering how to fight back? It’s easy. You don’t. End of story. The only thing you’ll be doing is defending yourself and wasting your precious energy better spent on other things.

Smear campaigns are vicious as they aim to invalidate, to ridicule and to isolate a person. The ultimate goal is to hurt, maim and punish the receiver for some perceived wrong. The harder you try to fight back, the more down trodden you will feel. The only answer is to turn your back and run. You know the flight-or-fight reflex? Well this is the instance where you run.

Once you go great, you never go back, even if you could.

Consider going into a coal pit wearing a white suit. You’ll only come out dirty. There really is no use in being nasty back. It has nothing to do with sob stories about being the better person. It’s just plain common sense. I could go and divulge affairs about the garage man secretly offering perfume to the momster, or the family secrets my biological father so gladly filled me in on. I wished I never knew that stuff. And at the same time it was a big moment of deep sighs and wondering why such things had to be kept a hidden family secret. The conspiracy everyone is in on but never talks about. Sensitive issues, I guess. Nevertheless, not my secrets to tell.

Don’t tell the kids.

The only response is no response at all. Why would you? Just sit back and watch the manipulations and the lies being spread. And then watch how fast the flying monkees gather round and agree all too happily. It’s quite revealing of hidden sentiments the way people react to the smear campaign. Those who are ready to believe it, and even better those who choose to act as ordered, to turn their head and look the other way, to be part of the big family shunning, those people are all doing you a favour by showing you their true colours. Somebody who truly loved you would have double checked the facts. Or wouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place.

Can you fix the situation? Hell no. It is what it is. Just sit with the energy. Watch it dissolve. It is nothing but hot air. A smoke screen to cover up what really happened.

Telling your side of the story is not the same as smearing a person.

Likewise I have witnessed two sisters hurt each other repetitively. Both are strong, beautiful and loving women. Both have their histories, their hurts and their disappointments in life. I am sure they love each other pricelessly. Couldn’t be without the other. Yet for some reason, they cannot express their love for one another. They just keep hurting the other.

It’s a difficult position to be in when you respect and enjoy the company of both women. Also knowing that the issues are so sensitive that they can hardly be discussed. Which is why I don’t. I won’t get involved. I won’t talk about one or the other. If talking is required I will listen. The real issues at hand are often patterns being passed down from one generation to the other. The pattern will sadly continue to repeat itself until somebody finds their fate and changes it. For the better that is.

Be your own heroine. Be your own rock. Don’t respond to smear campaigns. 

And now that that issue is out of the way, I can dedicate myself to writing my life story which truly is a good one. An inspiration for all women out there who have ambition and purpose.

— Tremelo, Belgium (May 2017)

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