Ties that bind

Whenever the Devil card appears in a tarot reading, people are immediately frightened by its meaning. Really it’s not all that bad. However the card does heed a message to examine your relationships more closely.

The Devil card actually represents ties that bind. Toxic relationships. Addictions. But it can also indicate stubbornness. Or being the black sheep. The meanings can vary greatly and as with any piece of information, context matters.

Ties that bind

There are certain relationships in life which are unbreakable. I’m thinking along the lines of family ties. First of all there is the unconditional love for your children. This kind of love is eternal and limitless. It has no end and no beginning. There is nothing or nobody who can interfere in the love a parent holds for his/ her child. Whether this parent wants to feel or face this feeling is another matter. The condition is what it is. You love your children unconditionally. It is what it is.

Then there are all other kinds of family ties and emotional bonding from love for your parents, your grandparents, your siblings. As the degree of affinity distances itself, then so does the bond uniting people. Only in extreme circumstances would you want to break these bonds. Yet it happens so often. I look at my own life. And the lives of people who I engage with in deep conversations. The heartache is all around.

The ways in which we bind ourself

Then there are the ties we impose upon ourselves. We choose our partners. In our Western society we enter into marriage on a free will basis. We consciously say “yes” to our life partner and then place expectations on this relationship. Expectations which sometimes are very unrealistic and which lead to disappointment and heartache.

Or we say “yes” to a life partner who we view as an equal. To whom we open our souls, our minds, our bodies. Together we decide to honour each other and to give the best of ourselves each moment we consciously can. We are aware of our own flaws and the hurts of the person we hold so dear.

You see, my dear reader, the choice is ours. The Devil gives us many options. We are so free to choose what to do with our lives. It is up to us to choose correctly and to love wisely.


Every now and again, a relationship will turn sour. We want other things in life. This just isn’t working out. Or worse, our needs are not being met and our boundaries transgressed. We want out. And that’s okay.

The most painful part in any separation, be it a divorce of marriage or a friendship ending, it means carefully deconstructing the life and things we built up together. Carefully taking the pieces apart. Like unraveling a piece of intricate knitting. And then wondering what to do with the ball of wool that is left over.

Hopefully you had enough pillars in your temple to support the construction of your life so that if one pillar falls down, the others are still there to keep your world together. This is your network. Your friends. Your family. Your children. Your hobbies. Your job. Anything that keeps your world a marvellous place.

So the word of caution here is to not become addicted to one certain person or one certain condition in your life. Because if it falls away, you’re whole life will come collapsing down around you. Remember to treat yourself as the most important person in your life. This is the only way you will be able to give the best of yourself back to the world. If you have children, this is the best way to be the example of a happy parent. Your children do deserve a happy parent, don’t they?


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