What if God created Eve first?

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

People, I am tired. I have barely slept at all last night and am afraid I’m suffering from a slight hangover. Dorothy came round to talk. She had brought a bottle of bubbly with her. She knows that’s just irresistible for me and that way she gets to talk quite a lot. I like lending a listening ear. Especially if I’m sipping a glass of champagne. Naughty but nice.

If I remember correctly, Dorothy was on a rant about Eve being created first. It went something like this…

Have you ever wondered why men – in general – are so adamant at putting women down and keeping them in their place? Why would man go through so much trouble to find passages in the bible which state that God created Adam first and Eve was created from his rib as his helper ? Why would man impose women to cover up from head to toe so that none of their beauty is visible? Why do women treat other women so poorly?

Now there are a lot of issues at stake here and I was in no mood to argue with Dorothy when in the full pleasure of drinking champagne. So I just willingly nodded when she went on saying that everything in life boils down to these two things : power and sex. 

Now somewhere along the waterfall of heated conversation I’m sure I heard her saying “money and sex”. I was going to point that out to her but let it go. In the end money is already interwoven in the power – sex balance. You see, the more money you have, the more sex you can buy. The more sex you have, the more power you exude. The more power you exhibit, the more you will be getting sexual gratification. And so on and so forth.

And Dorothy continued along these lines…

Up till now men have held the monopoly in this position. But women are doing their fair share at fighting themselves free from the ties that bind and the powers that be. Man’s worst nightmare is coming true : women are starting to understand the full power they hold over men. Okay, so pussy power, right?

At this point I almost fell out of the sofa laughing. She had said the P-word. Naughty!

Yes a little, but it is much more than that. A woman’s power is much more than giving it up to men. This is where so many women are faltering right now, and where the green eyed monster kicks in to tear down the competition they are comparing themselves to. Honestly, some women you’d say they think along the lines “I’m the only one to have one”, and “my pussy is so special, so different to all the others” because “mine has diamonds all around it”.

I had a hard time keeping my face straight when she claimed she had tested the appeal of a diamond studded pussy with men. Don’t ask. The description of her research is too explicit for my blog, but just in case you’re wondering : no ladies, the diamond pussy is not an appealing thought.

And Dorothy continued “all pussies are the same”. At this point I just had to beg to disagree. Well no, they might not look the same, but they all perform the same function and they all do it very well. So it’s really not your private bits which are going to make you special. It’s not the fact of going commando and wearing no bra that you will get the sales. Or then again, yes you will get the sales. Men lose their heads easily. But can you keep him?

Okay, hold your horses here. All of a sudden, the conversation about pussy power had veered towards using it to get business. I was gobsmacked. Surely she doesn’t… ?

Ah no… That’s where most women’s problem lies. You don’t seduce a man, or a woman for that matter, on your back. You lead astray whilst you’re standing on your feet. Put your big girl panties back on and listen up : it doesn’t matter what you look like or what you do in the bedroom that will blow you man’s socks off. Really forget about it. I’ve read the self-help books on how to have great sex and not only are they ludicrous, they’re just as boring as a snail.


The bubbles inside of me just had to set the score straight. 

Great sex starts outside the bedroom. It starts with being a woman of substance. Who knows what she wants in life and what turns her on. She knows which cake she wants to order for desert, she knows whether she loves champagne or vodka, she has her sisterhood support group and she knows how to party. This kind of women is just irresistible to men.

A fascinating woman owns her sexuality, yet this doesn’t mean she gives it up easily. The clue in getting any man to be going “gaga” in his head and to agree to anything you desire, is to tease him.

Tease him verbally. You can innocently drop words with a connotation and just do this in an innocent and businesslike way. Women are really great at this skill with other women, so why be so shy around men? I’ll give you an example. Some years ago Dorothy’s mom was round for a visit and I was making pancakes for the littles. Being a responsible mom myself, I like to add in some healthy fruit and stuff like that. So I added some pineapple to the plates. Dorothy’s mother thought she was so clever when she remarked to me that the pineapple was indeed nice, not so “tart” as it can sometimes be. I mean, I should have applauded her for placing such a remark so expertly. Should I have felt insulted? I could have, but I didn’t. You see, it was just plain childish. A woman of 60 playing such childish games is clearly feeling very insecure. Poor momster. Anyway, back to the hot stuff, you can talk about the wind blowing and the thunder pounding. It doesn’t matter, as long as you use the right words. Men love it. Really, try it.

Cook for him. A no brainer, right? If you add in some aphrodisiac and exotic elements, he’ll feel completely seduced. Also, eat chocolate. Men know what that means. A woman who eats chocolate is sexy.

Tease him visually. Also this is very self explanatory. You don’t have to go around dressed in latex to turn his head. Though if that’s your thing, darling, go for it. I’d really recommend you dress classy, but feminine. Wear your underwear. Leave a lot up to his imagination. The more he has to use his brain power, the more he’ll be attracted.

Touch him. Touch him anywhere, his arm, his back, his leg… Anywhere really. As long as you stay away from his mojo. You’ll get that later. For now, just get him ticking. “Oh she touched me, she wants me.”

Dorothy said I was thinking too small. This is Little House on the Prairie stuff. She’s thinking along the lines of conquering the world.

Ladies getting what they want in business: smile and wear your heart on your sleeve. If you share your expertise with enthusiasm and you’re talking from the heart when discussing business with your clients, a true connection is made. Happy people are productive people. They are aware and present in the moment. They can deal with the stresses of everyday life because they have sufficient resources to deal with these challenges. Contrarily to unhappy people, these creatives don’t need to day dream themselves away from their computer into a better place. Because they are working hard to give the best of themselves to their customers. If you have the choice, always hire the happy smiling consultant. 

By now I was laughing my head off. It might have been the bubbles, but really, with Dorothy there is never a dull moment. Eve is supposed to be Adam’s little helper? It sounds to me more like Eve is owning it big time and she’s the one calling the shots. She’s saying where and when. And who.

When women feel empowered, such magical transformations take place.

This is basically the secret to any success in life. It’s all about power and sex. And it’s now also clear who is really pulling those strings. It’s me and Dorothy, especially if we just downed a bottle of champagne. If women would only understand this and stop competing and comparing themselves with their sisters, what a wonderful place this would be.




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