Spirituality is something most women hold close to their hearts. I love contemplating the full moon at night and looking up at the stars. When Dorothy popped in to say hello earlier on today, she was full of mumbo jumbo about performing rituals and magic spells to get what she wants in life. I was going to enquire about the “no panties” strategy, but decided to let that go.

“This is a time of insight and understanding, of penetrating our desire nature to better perceive what motivates the choices we make…” She has taken on a grave mystic voice and using big gesticulations.

Or we could meditate outside in the garden under the full moon. On a blanket. With lots of anti-mosquito repelling candles around us.

“Here we sow the seeds of a new way of living, planted in the sacred ground of our being and watered with awareness.” More swaying about in my kitchen like a weeping willow.

I’m starting to scratch myself all over because I’m thinking of all the creepy crawlies which will come out and nibble our toes.

“We are not forever bound by desires which keep us running exhausted on the treadmill of craving. Nor are we beholden to our ego’s demand for gratification at every turn.”

What’s wrong with desiring things? I do it all the time, and it works wonders for goal setting.

“We can unhook from all of that, instead connecting with the deepest movements of the soul, until now hidden from view…” She’s ignoring the fact that I’m not engaging with her.

Aha… *ding dong* saved by the bell. It’s my daughter‘s play friend who is being dropped off by her father. The girls had arranged themselves a little slumber party. I can only applaud their sense of initiatives and wish them to bond closely with sisterhood, as I did.

For some reason, Dorothy had followed me to the front door where we both stood smiling the biggest smile possible. “Oh yes, how wonderful that our daughters have arranged a sleepover”. More smiles. Dorothy is exceptionally quiet, which I’m not used to from her. I can see the dad is glancing at her, trying to make sense of who she is and why she’s there. He was probably also wondering why she just stood there half staring and half smiling at him. I felt so uneasy I ushered the girls inside and made excuses about dinner in order to get Dorothy away from the front door. What was up now? What owed me this embarrassment?

“Phew” she finally said when we were back inside. “That was one sexy man!”. She still looked dazed. I couldn’t believe it. One moment she was going on about hoo-doo and being detached and not chasing your desires like some hamster on a treadmill. And now here she is all flushed and smiley.

“Come on,” I complained “you can’t have the hots for one of my daughter’s friend’s father.”

“Why not?” she retorted.

“Because it’s just not done!” I couldn’t believe I had to push this point. Here I was, doing my best to be a woman of substance, always carrying myself with elegance and managing my reputation with great care. And along comes Dorothy and she’s almost falling at her knees in front of this guy. I mean seriously, get a grip.

Dorothy wasn’t having it. “Brace yourself, darling. I’ll be back tonight and we’re going to be dancing naked in the moonlight. That’s the kind of hot stuff we want to attract into our lives. You believe in signs of the universe. Now that’s one. This beautiful, hunky man turning up on your doorstep. All smiles.”

I pointed out to Dorothy that I am in a happy relationship with my own sexy man, that this other man in question is married and that this is not the type of relationship she wants to be attracting into her life. Furthermore, I thought we had settled the score on dancing naked in the garden.

She left all flustered a little while later, whilst little girls ran giggling through my house and my son looked on sheepishly. I thought with horror how mortified I would be if my daughter’s play friend went home to inform her parents that I dance naked in my garden at night.

No, no, no. I think I’m going to go to bed early tonight. And switch off all the lights. And turn off my mobile. And lock the doors. Why do I have the feeling this will not be enough?

 

What do you think ? Should I stay up to be part of Dorothy’s midnight mischief ? Let me know in the comments below.

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