Ladies be honest, “how are you?”. How many times a week do we get asked that question by total strangers on social media? Mainly men sending these messages. And how many times a week do we actually take attention of these messages, and then risk the truth of transparency by answering this question? That’s right, almost never. Yet Dorothy had gotten her knickers in a knot about a message she had received on Twitter.
“Oh my, you’ll never guess what happened to me!”
“What, do tell! Hope it’s something juicy as usual.” I’m grinning.
“I started talking to this man on Twitter. He sent me a message that he wanted to get to know me.”
“Oh please tell me you left the conversation at that. Didn’t your mother teach you about stranger danger?”
“Well it’s this guy who is on a peace mission in Kuwait with the US Army. He’s a senior chief sergeant, you know.” She sounded all proud.
“And you believed that? Come on! By the way, did you even bother Googling his rank? It’s not that good.” I’m starting to sound more annoyed by the minute.
“Oh it’s not? Well it sounded pretty good. Especially knowing the guy is 60. And he’s soon going to retire. He said he’s going to be getting a huge amount of money soon. And that he already has investments in gold. He wants to start up a new business and would like to find a life partner to settle down with and get married.”
WOAH. So many red flags going off with just so little amount of information. It is so obvious, yet Dorothy is totally engrossed in her story.
“So I was talking nicely along with him, when he asked me for my WhatsApp. I mean does he think I’m totally stupid or what?”
Phew, I’m relieved, there is still some sense left in her.
“I mean, before you know this military guy is actually an undercover spy and out to get me for my silly rant about my secret mission to get President Trump. He might be able to geo-locate me based on my telephone number. And then send a drone to locally drop a bomb on me. I’m not stupid. No sir, not this girl. I’m not giving my WhatsApp to no stranger.” She’s looking extremely pleased with herself for this stand.
“Yeah, I mean this is the stuff I teach my kids. You don’t tell anybody over the internet where you live or anything personal like that. Especially when that person tells you you can trust them. It’s a textbook case : when a stranger tells you you can trust them, it actually means that they are of dubious character.”
I totally agree on this last assesment. But the story gets a weird turn now.
“I’m afraid I’ve done something stupid…” She says sheepishly and marks a dramatic pauze.
“Oh no Dorothy, don’t tell me there is more?!” I look at her alarmed.
“Well…” she starts, “I couldn’t help but notice the match. He’s 60, in the army, soon to be retired, and looking to get married. And then there’s my mom who’s 66, worked with the military for her entire life, and also desperately looking for a boyfriend. I thought they would be perfect together. So I suggested he should contact her on her Hotmail account, hook up together. I mean, wouldn’t it be great if they would become an item. He might even persuade her to sell her house and move to the States to live with him. It would just be too good to be true.”
“Oh Dorothy, how many times have I told you that a deal too good to be true, usually is. It’s is too good to be true. If you stop and think about it, it’s so obvious he’s after money. I mean, come on “I’ve got gold” and “a huge amount of money”. In which world do you live that you didn’t hear that loud and clear?”
Her face drops, but soon a smile picks up again.
“So what, I gave him her email address. I mean she’s a big girl. Surely she’ll be able to make the distinction for herself. And who knows, it might all just be very authentic and they might end up living their happily ever after.”
“I sincerely doubt it.” I’m not hiding my doubts.
“How familiar does this sound: ‘oh I didn’t know. I didn’t mean bad…‘ Do you think I can use that excuse too?”
We both burst out laughing.
“Your mom’s too funny!” I giggled, “Do you remember the time we all took a trip down to Stonehenge and she had ‘accidentally’ forgotten her passport?”
“Oh God yes! The way she took that military stance and growled at the guard at customs ‘Do you know who I am?!’. The look on her face! And then she flashed her NATO badge and got the guard running.”
“Oh yes yes yes!” More laughter. “The worst part was that she took herself so seriously. If she had just winked at us and said ‘all for good fun, hey girls’. But no, the woman was dead serious and so damn proud of herself. It was hilarious. I just love telling that story. I call it ‘the play pretend military mom‘.”
“Look she’s old and wise enough to not be gullible. I’m sure she’ll be okay.”
Why am I not so sure? Although I’ll admit I do want to know what happens next. Will Dorothy’s mom feel overcome with a deep emotional response? Let me know in the comments below whether you think there will be a happily ever after. And for who. *smile*