My dear peeps, I just can’t believe this weather. It is deliciously warm. Slighty too warm to my liking. Anything above 30°C makes me feel like I’m continuously melting away into a puddle like a snowman. My viking genes aren’t built to support such temperatures. Give me cold and rainy Britain. Just joking on that last one.
What is a woman to do with such stuffy weather than to take her kids and spend the afternoon splashing around in the pool. My darlings love it. My daughter Lilly takes after me, always preferring to skinny dip than actually putting on a bathing suit. But what the heck. Our domain is completely secluded. We enjoy total privacy. My ten year old son on the other hand is more of the bashful type and likes to cover up. Especially around the ladies.
When you have a pool, you have many friends when the weather turns good. Although I’ll admit I’m a bad sport when it comes to that. I’m a great sharer, don’t get me wrong. But you’re my friend all year long, autumn and winter included. Not just when you’re sweating your pants off and looking for ways to cool down. “Ah yes, I know somebody with a pool. What’s her name again. Ah yes, Fiona.” Euh… no.
Pools are for sharing with BFFs
Now Dorothy comes around often and joins in on all our banter. We see her so often, she’s almost part of the furniture. No different this afternoon. Swimming in the pool. Not talking much because the heat just makes any brain activity impossible. Funny that, isn’t it, how you can’t think if you’re either too hot, or too cold.
It’s early evening when the temperature starts to reach humanly acceptable levels again. My kids retreat back into the house to find their digital entertainment. Dorothy and I are drying ourselves and dressing the baby in my bathroom.
I know Dorothy has a weak spot for creams, and ointments, and perfumes. All things wonderful which you’ll find in a woman’s bathroom only. My man’s bathroom is so much more simple : there is a tooth brush, a deodorant, a bar of soap and shaving gear. There you go. Bob’s your uncle.
I can see Dorothy’s eye is lingering on my collection of vitamins, royal jelly, probiotics and… something she can’t quite place.
“What’s that?” she asks as she points to an elegant black box. The box displays a gorgeous couple in warm embrace. The print on the box is exotically enticing “love capsules“.
So I repeat the obvious. “Oh nothing. Just love capsules.” I know she’s going to want to know more and I’m playing her up. I know Dorothy is deadly curious. She wants to know. Not to do anything with it or about it. She just wants to know.
“You actually need erotic stimulants?” She gave me a quick almost sarcastic glance, but she’s too engrossed looking at the beautiful couple and reading the small print on the box.
“Dorothy dear, we all like a little boost from time to time. No I don’t ‘need’ those tablets. And I would probably never have tried them were it not for an old school friend of mine who has made this part of her business.”
“Woaw, what a clever woman! This must sell like hot buns.” Dorothy is starting to see the appeal and I haven’t even explained the benefits yet. “What do they do to you?”
“They just make you horny as hell. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t tried it. I only take one every now and then. When my man is around of course. No point doing it when I’m left with the 3 kids to take care of and no man to pounce on.”
“No way!” Dorothy exclaims. “So what you take it and that’s it? Boom!”
“To be honest with you, I haven’t scientifically noted down at what time I take them and then when and which effects I observe.” I correct her. “But what I can tell you is that all of a sudden, in the middle of your day, you might be doing whatever, and then it just hits you. You feel as horny as a mad goat. And you just have to drop everything there and then to get your man.”
“Bet he’s complaining…” Dorothy brings out the snide comments. “What if you don’t have a boyfriend?”
“Dorothy dear, I strongly advise you never to touch those things, don’t even look at them, if you don’t have a man who is willing.”
“Ah…” That’s the only reply Dorothy has to offer.
And after a short pause : “Can I take a strip home with me? I’m curious now. Would like to try it too.”
“I don’t know Dorothy. These are pretty powerful capsules. They’re Chinese you know, so never too sure how it’s been manufactured, whether it would be considered safe against European standards, and well… you don’t want to be taking too many of those babies. You just don’t know what you’re up against.” I’m hesitant to give them to her. They’re mine! I want to keep them.
I decide this is the ideal moment to go to the kitchen to make smoothies, full of beautiful goodness. I’m a great fan of smoothies and today I’m making a vanilla + cinnamon superstar combo. This smoothie is filled with the warming, digestion-enhancing spices of cinnamon, clove, and ginger, mineral-filled banana and vitamin E and calcium-filled almond milk. It’s designed to keep you feeling energized, fresh and beautiful!
We spend the rest of the evening talking delightedly about easy summer plans, what’s hot in fashion and when do the sales start. Add in some juicy gossip and you’ve got yourself two very happy ladies.
Dorothy leaves when the night is still young and I decide to turn in early. With my laptop in bed. My ideal place for inspirational writing for my blog, amongst other things. Wink. It’s late as my eyes start feeling heavy and I reach to switch off the lights. Next thing I know, my phone rings and almost not surprised to see it is Dorothy.
I hesitate a moment before I reply : “Hello again stranger…” I look at the time simultaneously and notice it is exasperatingly early.
“Darling, those love capsules… oh my, they’re bad ass !” Dorothy sounds all hot and bothered. Bewildered and overly excited. I make an inner groan and remember our earlier discussion. The naughty girl must have secretly taken a strip home with her. Or popped a pill right there and then yesterday afternoon.
“Yes?” I try meekly.
“Oh very much so, yes…” Dorothy sounds out of breath.
“Okay Dorothy, this is the deal. You can call me at ridiculous hours and tell me your sexy stories. But I get exclusive rights to write and publish them. So from now on nothing you say to me is private. Got that ? It’s a small price to pay for waking people up at unhuman hours.”
“Okay okay,” Dorothy replies hastily. “But listen to this…”
And that, my dears, is part of a series of erotica books I am currently writing to published on Amazon.com. If you want to know what Dorothy got up to, you’re going to have to direct your attention there.
Would you dare to try love capsules ? Let me know in the comments below.