How to handle stalkers

“Dorothy darling, we’ve got to stop talking about sex.” I inform her one evening.

“Huh, why’s that?” Dorothy looks up at me. She was busy on her iPhone.

“I’ve had another stalker…” I start to explain.

“You didn’t? The pork! What happened?” I can feel one of Dorothy’s rants coming on.

“I got these messages from some guy on my WhatsApp account.” I tell her and I show her my iPhone.

“Let’s have a look at this filth.” Dorothy indulges in reading the whole conversation.

The transcript is almost literally as follows, except I translated it from French to English for your ease and comfort.

Unknown number : “Good evening Fiona”

Me : “Good evening stranger”

“Why did you even answer him in the first place?” Dorothy looks at me bewildered.

“I didn’t know if it was somebody I knew but hadn’t added to my contact list. Besides, I’m always polite and answer people whenever I can.” I tell her.

Dorothy continues reading the conversation.

Unknown number : “Why stranger”

Me : “My phone doesn’t recognise your number, so you’ll have to help me”

Unknown number : “What do you want to know”

Me : “Your name”

Dorothy is disgusted : “He’s starting to play with you now.”

“I know, I immediately sensed he was toying around, the creep.” I retort.

And the WhatsApp messages continue

Unknown number : “Jean-Marc”

Me : “Jean-Marc… and we know each other from… Wavre?”

“Now I know he’s telling the truth about his name, because he has capitalised it.” I remark. Dorothy just snorts in reply.

Unkown number : “Wavre ???”

Me : “OK I still don’t know. Where do we know each other from ? Bank Delen ?”

Unknown number : “No. We’re connected through another network…”

“What does he mean, another network ? Do you think my mom has put you up on Tinder in retaliation for the Nigerian con scam ?” Dorothy is in a panic.

Me : “No, I don’t think so. This must be a mistake. Or someone is playing a joke. Would you tell me which other network?”

Unknown number : “Why are you on that many different networks ?”

“Oh I wish I could just slap this guy. Who does he think he is ? He’s toying you about just because he’s feeling all powerful hidden safely behind his iPhone.” Dorothy is outraged.

“Yes, and let me tell you that this conversation took place on a Friday evening at 10 PM. Really not a decent hour for polite conversation.” I remark.

Me : “No, just Facebook Twitter and LinkedIn”

Unknown number : “LinkedIn”

Me : “Jean-Marc Cuypers ?”

“By now I had frantically started checking all my contacts named ‘Jean-Marc’ on LinkedIn. This was a guy who had recently connected with me on this professional network. I didn’t think twice about it. I get LinkedIn requests daily and often from people I don’t know. Often there are mutual interests, or working with or for the same people and companies.” I offer to explain how I identified the creep.

Unknown number : “Hallelluia”

Me : “OK but we don’t really know each other, right ? And it’s Friday evening… So is there anything I can help you with ?”

“By now I just wanted to cut the chase and get straight to the point. I was totally pissed off for this guy toying me around just for his pleasure. I am not having it.” Now I’m getting into a rant.

Unknown number : “It’s not wrong that we don’t really know each other. But there is a first time for everything…”

Me : “Let’s be very clear here, I’m not looking for contact. Not even a first contact. You might be a nice guy. And you will find someone who wants to chat with you. Only that person isn’t me.”

“And after sending that message, I blocked him.” I’m outraged and Dorothy too. “I mean, what is it with these guys ? You write a blog called ‘Single Mum Travels for Yoga’ and all of a sudden some stupid pork thinks that you are just sitting around waiting for him to contact you ?”

“Yes and he took the liberty to get your number and to WhatsApp you. How dare he ? How dare he ?!” Dorothy’s voice goes in crescendo.

“I mean really, are there women out there who are that desperate that they would reply ? I wonder what goes on in a guy’s mind, thinking that I would actually want to hang out with him, or whatever other dirty business he’s got on his mind. On a Friday evening at 10 PM, he can’t be thinking pure thoughts. The loser !” I’m letting it all out.

“Yeah, some guys really need to learn some manners. Have you ever had a married man confide to you ‘And we haven’t had sex in like six months…’ As if we’re going to reply something along the lines ‘Oh really, you poor baby, well come here then and get a leg over…’ Honestly men !” Dorothy is dropping some truth bombs here. Yes I have heard those lines, and from more than one married man for that matter.

“I think there should be a special course in high school for youngsters and they don’t get to graduate without passing it. The girls should get to learn some self esteem and to respect themselves in all circumstances.” Dorothy throws her ideas on the table.

“Yes, and they should pull the guys aside and give them lessons on how to treat women properly. And how to control their dirty little hormones and stop running after their dick the whole time. It’s their brain you know. Once guys hit puberty, they stop thinking with their brain, and use another muscle instead for all their decisions.”

Dorothy and I continued our banter till quite late that evening. But I still think it’s true, there is a serious problem with how men are treating women in this day and age. And it all just goes unchecked. There’s always a good excuse for the guy to behave badly. I mean, let’s sum it up here :

  • Randy the FaceBook troll who was so jealous of my professional success that he thought he was powerful enough to put up negative comments about my clients on my FaceBook wall.
  • The Nigerian con scam artist who wanted to get married as soon as possible.
  • Married men who haven’t had sex in a while.
  • A LinkedIn contact who thinks he can use LinkedIn and what he read on my blog to start sending me dirty proposals.
  • The father of my baby, who didn’t receive enough upbringing and education from his South American mother to actually take his responsibilities and be a father.
  • And this list goes on and on…

I think it’s time us women stop putting up with such macho behaviour, that we call out guys when they’re being rude, misogynistic and downright disrespectful. Enough is enough. Women don’t like to be talked to in this way. We don’t. So grow up and understand that just because we use the word PUSSY doesn’t mean that you are going to get a piece of me. If you’re that kind of guy and you want pussy, just look in the mirror. You’ll find one there.


What do you think ? How can we put a stop to men behaving in a rude and disrespectful manner towards women ? Let me know in the comments below.

* Disclaimer : I have used the pork’s real name and honestly I can’t be arsed. If he thinks he’s so smart to send me stupid messages on a Friday evening at 10 PM, then I have no reason to hide his true identity. However, you might have guessed that Randy’s name isn’t really Randy, although his real name does start with an R. There. Fed up. Had enough.


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