It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon and we’re down at the playground with the kids. Eating too much ice cream and enjoying a lazy moment in the shade. It is actually too hot to even have a decent conversation. Which is why I hadn’t noticed Dorothy’s absent-mindedness until now. She has been glimpsing over at her phone on and off for the past ten minutes. Something’s bothering her and I’m guessing she’s either waiting to hear from someone, or she’s debating what to reply to a certain message.
I happen to be spot on with my analysis. “I’ve kind of got this weird message. Don’t really know what to reply to it,” she finally opens up.
Context is important.
“You know my brother Billy? And that he came out as bi-sexual. Though he’d always had boyfriends which made me suspect he was in fact just plain gay.”
Yes I do remember her brother Billy. A nice quiet chap. So I nod at her as a sign to go on.
“And I told you how I had sat him down one day to talk to him about his future plans. And that I urged him not to do any weird gay guys versus lesbian deal when it comes to fulfilling a baby wish.” She’s basically repeating what she’s told me before, so I don’t interrupt.
“And then you remember that soon after that discussion he turned up with a girlfriend. You’ve seen her around at birthday parties. You know, Nathalie.” Yes I do see. And quite frankly it had never been lost on me the appeal that Nathalie must have had for Billy. Nathalie was a very big and tough kind of woman. The no-nonsense truck driver type of woman. In fact, if Nathalie had not turned up holding hands with Billy, I would have thought she was a lesbian.
“And you also haven’t forgotten how nasty Nathalie was to me when I had that huge argument with my mom. How she thought she was all righteous to get involved?” Yes, I remember that vividly too. Quite honest, I remember having said to Dorothy that people are motivated by 2 things only : money and relations. Or as we’ve stated before : power and sex. In this case, it was obvious that Nathalie’s stance behind Dorothy’s mother was purely out of financial interest. But hey, that’s just my opinion.
Now the hot stuff.
I still have no idea where Dorothy is going with her story and my eye starts to drift as I watch our children play freely in the shade of the hot afternoon sun.
“And then Nathalie came back eating humble pie when her relationship with Billy broke up.” Yes I remember that part too. I was quite angry at that. Where the fudge had she been when Dorothy was down in the dumps and left to her own devices? I much admired Dorothy for not wanting to kick someone who was already down on the floor and wounded. I know not everyone would react in quite the same way. Yet Dorothy was no fool. She had clearly marked her boundaries. Good girl.
“Yes?” I ask her quizzically, as this came of ‘do you remember’ seems to be going on and on. And up till now I have no idea what’s wrong. Besides the fact that Nathalie is just… well somebody who cries along with the wolves. Again, no judgement.
“Darling, you know how I talk and how affectionate I am, don’t you?” Yes I do. Dorothy is one of those caring, open souls who loves to share freely and love spontaneously.
“And darling, isn’t it obvious that I’m a woman who likes men?!” She is now looking at me with a mixture of demand, disgust, imploring and a hint of femme fatale.
“Yes Dorothy dear, it is very clear that you are a girlie girl who likes men very much. But you know, that doesn’t stop a lesbian.” I’ve completely understood where this story is going.
“I don’t know what to do!” she wails as she gets out her iPhone. “Just look at these messages. I hadn’t paid attention to it much at first. But look. Just look!”
And indeed, the messages are very obvious. She’s calling Dorothy “baby” and “darling” and there are mentions of “I miss you” and “hugs”… and just way too many kisses.
“I’m never going to dare to meet up with her again. She’s so big and strong. She could just pin me down and rape me right there and then. I wouldn’t have a chance.” Dorothy is really besides herself. “She hasn’t had sex in two years you know. She must be desperate.”
And the juicy gossip.
Oh I’m so sorry, but I can’t help seeing the funny side in this. I say to Dorothy : “Have you ever slept with a woman?”
Dorothy goes quiet for a moment. “Well… maybe… yes…” She’s staring at the ground.
“So what’s the problem then?” I know I’m annoying her now, but can’t help but go in for a good dig right now. “Who was it?”
“My cousin,” Dorothy answers relunctantly. “We were little girls. And then maybe not-so-little teenagers. But hey, that’s a long long long long time ago now. We were just messing about experimenting. It doesn’t count anymore and it sure doesn’t mean anything!”
“No way ! You mean your ‘favourite’ cousin ?” I ask her all surprised.
“Just because we played together a lot when we were little girls doesn’t mean that she’s my favourite cousin for always and forever. I don’t know why people keep saying that !” Dorothy sounds wounded again. “It was fun when we were just in early puberty, but once we turned 16 or something, she actually turned nasty.”
“Oh I didn’t know about that.” I soften my tone of voice.
“Yeah, never really told many people about it, but first there was the summer when she completely ignored me and was nasty to me with her best friend Tramp. And it just went downhill from there.” Dorothy goes on to explain.
“But she was your bridesmaid. Your maiden of honour!” I exclaim.
“Look darling,” Dorothy looked at me intently. “When people keep telling you that this person is your favourite cousin, you kind of start believing it. Yet when that person hasn’t got two sentences to say to you on your wedding day or whenever she sees you in adult life, your gut is just telling you something’s up.”
“You turned her down on the sexual relationship, didn’t you ?” I ask her.
“Yes I did. Didn’t think it was very appealing once I started dating. Besides, it was a bit weird when her brother would join in too.” Dorothy continues to confide.
“She was doing it with her own brother ? Get out of here !” I am beside myself.
“Believe what you want to. I know what I saw.” Is all Dorothy wants to comment on this subject.
“What was her name again ?” I honestly can’t remember the name of her ‘favourite’ cousin.
“Shizzalot.” Dorothy says curtly.
“Dorothy, you should write a book with all your erotic stories. After that, who knows what’s next?” I am almost falling off my chair with laughter whilst Dorothy has completely closed herself off from the conversation.
Besides, lets look on the bright side : Dorothy could easily earn back the twelve grand she lost on Tatyana with her erotic stories. Every new journey – however long, arduous or complex – starts with one step. Dorothy’s just stumbling around a bit for the moment, but I’m sure she’ll find her way soon.
And I can’t blame people for falling for Dorothy. I enjoy basking almost daily in the complete glory and awe of her undying devotion. Dorothy is my muse and inspiration. And I’m sure she is for many other people she encounters. She’s one of a kind.
What do you think ? How should Dorothy react to Nathalie’s advances ? And do you think it would be a good idea to get Dorothy to write out her erotica ? Let me know in the comments below.
* Disclaimer : Any resemblance between the fictional characters in this story and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle by chance more than by choice.