The day I thought I was going to die

“Fiona darling, how is Lilly ?” Dorothy looks at me concerned.

“She’s doing good !” I am happy to answer. “She’s finally eating well and sleeps peacefully. Only thing left to take care of is that suspicious looking mole on her toe.”

“Poor little darling, is she scared ?” Dorothy asks.

“Not excessively. She’s more worried about the injections than anything else. I’ve talked to her about the mole and she knows we have to have it seen to.” I answer to truth. “She’s a courageous little girl. Besides, you know she’s always had a rather morbid fascination with zombies and vampires. So she’s really very cool about it all.”

“I do hope it’s okay. Would be awful if she were to lose a toe. A bit like ‘the World according to Garp’ where everyone kept losing parts of their bodies.” Dorothy remarks.

“Oh yes, nice comparison. Garp’s mother was also a Single Mom by Choice. So go figure.” I point out. “Hmmm, does that mean one of us is going to be assassinated ?”

“Don’t be silly.” Dorothy shrugs. “Aren’t you worried sometimes about dying ?”

“Well yes, just like the next person.” I mull the question over. “I think my main fear is leaving my babies behind before they are old enough to fend for themselves.”

“Have you ever been face to face with death ?” Dorothy definitely has something on her mind.

“Hmmm, apart from the day I found out I had melanoma skin cancer ?” I ask her. “Yes, there have been a few occasions I thought I was going to snuff it. And you ?”

“Oh yes, I have too.” Dorothy is finally getting to what she wants to get off her chest. “My mother used to run around the house screaming ‘I’m going to kill you’ in her Judge Doom voice. Well scary. She threw a kitchen knife at me once, you know. I sugared myself.”

“You’re mother is strange.” I answer concisely. “I thought I was going to die the time I gave birth to my first child. It was that painful.”

“There was also the time I had that car crash.” Dorothy goes on. “It was strange that. Tried for seven years to get pregnant. And going through IVF and all, imploring the universe to just grant me an accidental pregnancy like all other women. And hey presto, I have a car accident and I’m pregnant.”

“Dorothy, you’re making connections where there aren’t any.” I am keen to precise.

“Or what about years of doing magic asking for my shaman guru, Marc, to get me pregnant. And then I have my viking-inca baby by that South American called Marc. It just so happens that he got lost after I fell pregnant, just as I had asked for years ago.” Dorothy is adamant to find magical coincidences. “That’s more than coincidence.”

“No dear, it is precisely that, a coincidence.” I am wary of what she’ll say next now.

“No it’s not. Coincidences don’t exist.” Dorothy says fiercely. And she would be inclined, with the hardships she’s been through.

“So you’re happy that Marc got lost.” I try to steer her away.

“Yes, it’s called reversed psychology.” Dorothy says in defence. “Have you ever wished anyone to be dead ?”

“Hell no, that would be bad karma !” I am swift to reply.

“My mother said it to Billy’s ex-girlfriend, Nathalie. She said she wished she were dead.” Dorothy looks sad.

“And how is that your problem ?” I ask her softly.

“Because that was meant for me !” Dorothy is sure of her case. “I used to be my mother’s scapegoat. With me out of the picture, she needs other women to bully and to taunt. Nathalie was first in line, so she got what was normally coming to me.”

“Still fail to see how that’s your problem.” I tell her calmly. “You’ve moved on from that place. Your mom can now turn on your twerking stepmom or on Billy’s new girlfriend. But there’s no way on this earth that you’re going back.”

“Who do you think killed Graham ?” Dorothy is quick to change the subject.

“Nobody !” I answer frankly. “He died of a stroke.”

“How can you be so sure ?” Dorothy asks. “The timing was a strange coincidence. Just after you had made contact and affirmed he was really your biological father, and after you told him to get lost. Then he bites the dust. Suspicious if you ask me.”

“Look, how many suspicious deaths happen yearly ?” I ask her.

“How am I supposed to know ?” Dorothy looks at me wounded.

“I’ll tell you : maybe three. And those are spies or thieves.” I point out. “I am neither. Unless you argue otherwise. And I’m also not the social mouth for the Russian maffia. So I had nothing to do with his death.”

“Oh okay then.” Dorothy concedes. “Would have made a nice story. And would have been good to know.”

“Dorothy, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you.” I’m annoyed with her now.

“What do you mean ?” She looks at me all innocently.

“I heard what you didn’t say.” I shoot her a meaningful look. “Besides, let’s look on the bright side of all this mumbo jumbo. If all your chants and shamanistic sessions with Marc were real, then you’re going to be winning on the lotto sometime soon.”

“Oh yes, wouldn’t that be grand, being a millionaire ?!” Dorothy’s eyes glaze over.

“I already am.” I tell her with poise. “I have three beautiful children.”


What do you think ? Any comments on these matters of life and death ? Let me know in the comments below.

* Disclaimer : Any resemblance between the fictional characters in this story and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle by chance more than by choice.



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