Emotional intelligence #GoodbyeDorothy

Dorothy is explaining to me that everything in your current life is the result of choices you made. But choices can be changed.

If people use you it’s because you let them. There is a difference between nurturing and being used. Those who use you or are at the bottom of the social intelligence barrel and are there for a reason. Do you have a reason to fish there for friends?” Dorothy pauses to mark her point.

“I’d like to do the payments, if its real and not fraud and won’t get me into more trouble. And I insist on sharing it with you.” I reply with a soft smile.

“You choose what relationships to keep or loose.” Dorothy answers.

“I’m done with men. Already told you that.” I go on venting my hurt feelings. “I’m looking for genuine friendship.”

“Don’t worry about it now. There will be no surprises later. All I need is knowledge I can come home if I get into trouble and need a plane ticket.” Dorothy reassures me.

“You could always ask me that anytime.” I reassure her.

“Maybe a bit of money to rent a small flat.” Dorothy goes on. She doesn’t ask for much!

“Only right now I have no extra to give to anyone.” I ponder.

“A deposit so I can switch on benefits. For the rest you use it. Make me feel good you and your kids are safe.” Dorothy beams at me.

Now I know there is friendship. But there is no such thing as a free lunch. Why would Dorothy care if me and my kids are safe? What about her and her kids?

“So what’s the difference? Doing good to others heals you.” I pick up a remark she had made previously.

“Ok so we will earn it. It has to wait until I am back in Cuba.” Dorothy continues.

“I don”t regret helping Nisha.” I go on reminiscing over the events of the past months.

“No it doesn’t heal me.” Dorothy retorts.

“Do you think we’d make enough to buy a flat?” I am seeing things too big again.

“It only makes me aware of my social obligations and God’s commandment. GIVE CHARITY WHERE AND WHENEVER YOU CAN. Charity is not only giving the poor but kind deeds to all humanity and God’s creatures.” Dorothy says in a clear voice. “I don’t know about actually buying a flat, but anything is possible.”

“I do that though.” I am going over all my good deed of charity in the past year.

“Yes I guess so.” Dorothy says a little too dubiously to my liking. “Look for new ideas you can read about at night that will enhance your business.”

“Videos are the thing now.” I bring up an idea I’ve been toying with for some time now. “And podcasts.”

“So start talking to online shops.” Dorothy urges me with a sparkle in her eye. “Hotel groups, cruise lines.”

“In the videos?” I exclaim in surprise.

“Yes in promotions and stuff.” Dorothy enthusiasms. “Yes then you can go on free cruises and stay in expensive hotels while you make videos and podcasts.”

“That would be nice.” The idea has put stars in my eyes too. “But even nicer would be to live comfortably without worry or stress.”

“No such thing.” Dorothy blows me off guard.

“No more money worry to reach the next month.” I precise. “No such thing? Right now that’s all I want. And I’d like to be able to save again.”

“No a job you have. Self employed is only as good as your last project.” Dorothy goes on racking her meninges.

“So travel for free.” I muse this idea I’m starting to love more and more.

“If you can.” Dorothy confirms.

“That would make me very happy.” I say with a smile. “With my kids.”

“Why not?” Dorothy encourages me again. “Others do it. Just get into the big groups and off you go.”

“And the payments deal middleman is real?” I ask her again still dubious.

“I think so.” Dorothy evades my question. “They seem interested.”

“You’re not sure?” I try for a head-on approach for once. “What can i do to win the deal?”

“Nothing. You will need to trust me.” Dorothy touches another sore spot.

“I’m scared.” I sulk. “I admit.”

“I understand.” Dorothy nods. “It will be by invoice so you will be protected. No illegal stuff. I am not into that plus my reputation is very important to me.”

“I read a few horror stories.” I tell her as I remember the research I did online. “Where the middleman had transferred the funds and then the originator revoked his payment leaving the middleman in huge debt. Bitcoin transfers are too expensive. I’ve researched that.”

“That won’t happen. Payments are coming from the West going East.” Dorothy precises.

“Ok.” I give in for now.

“Have a good day we speak later tonight.” Dorothy gets up to leave.

I walk her down the hall to the front door and place a small kiss on her cheek. As I had expected, Dorothy didn’t turn up that evening. Instead I received a text message.

“Sorry I lost track of time. Been busy with things. Let’s take a rain check please.”

I knew this was going to happen. Yet it never fails to get to me. I just read the message and discarded it. What was I to reply? “I understand?” Would have been the right thing to do. Anyway, Dorothy follows up with another message having understood my silence all too well : “No I am not dodging just had things that had to be done.”

This merits at least a sarcastic reply from my part : “That’s ok. I’ve got Nathalie the ladybird to keep me company.”

And at that it was off to bed for me. Need my beauty sleep. And rest is important when managing 3 kiddos expertly.

 

* Disclaimer : Any resemblance between the fictional characters in this story and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle by chance more than by choice.

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webfi

I’m a strong, independant, working single mum and I enjoy making my way around the world with my 3 wonderful children. I live in Belgium and am originally from England. I work in online marketing, digital analytics and conversion optimization for financial institutions and many prestigious global companies as well as remote consulting to start-ups.

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