Extra weight #paranoia

The next morning the Wizard brings me up a cup of tea as I sit up in bed aching all over. I am hoping this strain of flu will be over by the Sunday evening.

“Good morning and buenos dias, Doctor Oz,” I smile as I accept my hot cuppa gratefully. “My girlfriends and tarot clients all have men troubles. Is there a cure or a fix?” I look at him with sore red eyes over the brim of my cup as I sip carefully. “How is your baking going? Wouldn’t it be nice to have your ‘broodje gebakken’? That would be nice and comfy.”

Having your ‘broodje gebakken’ literally translates into ‘having your bread baked‘ and it means that you are in a very comfortable financial situation.

“Hi,” the Wizard smiles at me fondly eyeing me up and down. “Yes there is a fix for your clients’ men problems. Of course I am assuming the problem is the men’s fault only and the women have no responsibility at all in the problem.”

“Of course,” I laugh at him. Doesn’t he know? Women are always right. “Some of them get desperate in attracting the man they have set their sights on. Others just can’t find the man they are looking for. Tough world isn’t it?”

“Ah that’s a different type of problem,” the Wizard sighs with disinterest. “No actually this issue is easy to solve. They need to understand their value and self hypnoses.”

“Hmmm so a guided meditation with me could help,” I ponder over my passions and business plans combined.

“Yes meditation is good,” the Wizard nods at me. “Focus on a solution.”

“Ah my meditations are fluffy,” I remember the last few I wrote. “I get them to imagine being together and to open up.”

Predicting the future is impossible. But if anyone could know what will be big in dating, it would be the Wizard of Oz. He’s a true leader on the frontlines of the mind, the soul and the heart. The game between men and women is one as old as the earth. It’s not hard for the Wizard to have a pulse on the history of romance.

The Wizard kept me company all day as I rested in the sofa with my littles. It’s not till evening came and my darlings to bed that I engage in some more conversation with him. Must warn you though, the flu drained my energy and left me prone to feelings of deep pessimism.

“The Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly sent me a weird text about photos of me little, such a sweet girl, made her cry,” I tell him with clear disdain.

“The Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly has just discovered she is mortal,” the Wizard informs me in a comforting voice. “Time to make peace?”

“I wouldn’t know how to make peace,” I sigh. “The Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly doesn’t want to. She said so. To me it just means she read my blog.”

“Ok,” the Wizard takes a deep breath as he rolls his eyes at me. “I agree you should live in the past and hold onto your ego very tightly.”

“As if it is all up to me,” I laugh at him.

“She just made the first step,” the Wizard points out with annoyance.

“I have tried numerous times,” I tell him as agitation creeps up on me. “The last time in September not so long ago. She didn’t. She told me she doesn’t want a relationship with me.”

“Oh I thought she did by crying over spilt milk,” the Wizard softens his tone instantly. “Your instincts are better than mine regarding the Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly.”

“She literally told me she wants to take care of Willem so that she could prove a bond and sue me again,” I spit out.

“I know the Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly is an idiot,” the Wizard sighs as he shakes his head.

“No she didn’t cry,” I go on setting the record straight. “She said she doesn’t believe in it. Sorry to say she is an idiot indeed. But you still want to believe she wants me.”

“Make up your mind,” the Wizard gets impatient again. “The photo made her cry or not?”

“Interesting,” I say with sarcasm. “No. She cried over my photo. She said that today.”

“Photos are like memories,” the Wizard’s eyes are almost popping as he tells me this.

“Oh right,” I say in the same continuous sarcasm.

“Today is not yesterday,” the Wizard’s patience is being put to the test, I can tell.

“Yes well she is see-saw mad,” I tell him fiercely. “Today nice so that she can hit me better tomorrow.”

“Like her daughter?” the Wizard mocks me.

“I am conditioned to be cautious,” I remind him. “I am not mad.”

“Who said that?” the Wizard booms with a laugh. “Of course you are mad. You wouldn’t be Fiona if you weren’t.”

“Bonkers,” I smile at him. “You taught me.”

As I make my way through this pessimistic day, I do stop to wonder every now and again whether it would be useful to have a ‘toolbox’ to clear out the stagnant energies, old patterns and beliefs, which is akin to plucking out the roots of the weeds that represent my relationship to the Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly. So we can start afresh, the activations will anchor in Light, which is so protective as we open up and truly expand ourselves, free to create a reflection of the world out there, that we have already created for ourselves on the inside!

Later that evening, when all little children have gone to bed, my mood has sunk even deeper and I am prone to yet another paranoia attack. The Wizard is curled up by my feet and watches me with keen eyes as I ramble on my nonsense.

“Anyway regarding the Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly, I will translate her message for you. She has read my latest blog articles and she is mocking me. She is happy to have had such a profound effect on me. It rejoices her that shunning me is ruining me and my business. She has almost succeeded. Incredible that even you continue to think she is a sweet little old lady. So back to Marta and conspiracy theories. Who would benefit from getting me to do a nude photo shoot? The Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly of course. It would help in a court case. Dubious character etc. And there is a connection: the Pied Piper, who I fired. There. Mystery stalker solved. And… the plot thickens… you see the Queen of Hearts asked Marta after all the Marta stuff had blown up how much she would charge for a photo shoot and she quoted her something like 300 Euros. A normal price. If I had paid 1.000 euros for a photoshoot, it would have looked bad too when I told the Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly I didn’t have the money to pay her back. It explains everything. I have been set up. And Marta failed in her mission. Also explains where the Old-Woman-who-swallowed-a-Fly was getting her info from at the time. I am like Sherlock Holmes. Paranoia is good sometimes. Sorry for the waffle.”

When I have clearly finished my ramble and feeling rather silly with myself for the entire waffle of nonsense, the Wizard rises on his cloud. It is only now that I notice his cloud is dark purple with wisps of dark grey swirling inside. There is lightening to be seen in the cloud and even a distant rumble of thunder.

“Fiona two things,” the Wizard growls at me. “One, I can only respond by what you tell me. If what you tell me is absolute garbage to manipulate me please stop wasting my time and energy. Should you require some sympathy tell me the relevant information and not the complete bullshit you keep talking about. Two, I don’t care so please stop making this my problem. Make Wim’s life a complete misery. That’s what he is there for. I can’t help you anymore. I don’t have the energy to give you anymore.”

And with that, his cloud lets out a loud cracking sound and the Wizard has disappeared into thin air. My bedroom is filled with a dense mist smelling of sulphur, which reminds me of the smell of a hundred candles being lit with a box of match sticks.

I now have time to think about what has been playing up lately. When I challenge the the Wizard to share his game-changing ideas, I am always amazed with his thoughtfulness, passion, and creativity. His drive to transform my world inspires me, and challenges me to find new ways to harness my own inner genius.

* Disclaimer : Any resemblance between the fictional characters in this story and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle by chance more than by choice.

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