The flu left me just as suddenly as it had hit me the previous week. I feel refreshed, optimistic, excited and ready to live a full life. The Wizard cat comes floating into my kitchen on a bright pink cloud, so I decide to give him another update on my doings.
“Good morning again,” I smile at the Wizard. “Love the ‘Center for Inspiration’ idea. Last week I did 2 readings and 1 meditation. That’s 130 Euros straight in the pocket. Would like to add crystal healing to the list. So I’ve started a course on Reiki. What do you think about shamanism? Astral travel? Do you think psychics really exist? Wishing you a wonderful day.”
“Hi. You ask hard questions,” the Wizard swirls round on his fluffy cloud to face me head on. “Shamanism is good when true. Much the same as medicine women in South America. Met many and respect their skills. Psychics exist but are not common so there are many bullshit artists around. Astral travel is something you should stay away from at the moment. Again it is not an easy process to control and needs a strong mind and some other practices first. Knowledge is important here. Reiki is good. I am a master but don’t practice. Crystal healing is bullshit in my opinion and has no statistics to support it except placebo cures. We live and stand on crystals all day. Yet we are still sick both physically and mentally. Read Zen books. A lot of people like this because it gives them a false sense of power over others. Most people are born idiots and you can fool them into believing you have a direct line to God. If so they will depend on you for their wellbeing and pay you too. Just look at the Pope, he is a master at this.”
“So it’s not the right path to take,” I muse internally revising my plan. “You are really good and you are a true healer. Why don’t you use your gift? I was wondering whether good things happen because we talk about them… Would that be like Reiki in words. Or am I dangerously becoming co-dependent?” I pause for a moment to mark the drama in my assessment. “But all good. Maybe the magic lies in not really knowing where the energy comes from and where it will go next.” I am not too sure about all this magic mumbo jumbo, so I am quick to change the subject again. “Another thing, I find tarot readings really hard when the client is scattered or in a bad place. It makes the reading scattered and unclear and it just drains my energy. Any ideas how to deal with such situations?” I ask the Wizard. Without waiting for his reply, I go on with all I have been wanting to tell him in an entire week: “Another funny thought, I used to adore Marc the guru shaman. And I sometimes still find myself wanting the Knave of Hearts to come back. Is that my unrequited love addiction playing up? Or just nostalgia?”
“So many thoughts,” the Wizard’s eyes twinkle with excitement. I am giving him food for thought. This is the kind of stuff he does like talking about. “Ok… Number one. The path you are on is good but it is not the answer to problems and won’t give you power over anything or anyone. Astral travel is not for you yet. Everything else is ok so long as you only exchange value with your client and not use it to hold a power over someone. I use my gift whenever I can and in different ways. For some reason people think they need to compete instead of enjoying healing with me. Some believe framing your thoughts brings results, like with NLP. I believe you must immerse yourself instead and become the role you want to play. So if you are interested in this dress the part and talk the talk, but also walk the walk. Reiki chanels energy from the universe through you so your client can relax. In so doing so they heal. The more they can relax the better for you and the client. Like Reiki you need to do a prayer of protection and understand it is not about you, nor do you need to prove your readings. Tarot is about the person you are reading for. Never make the claim something will definitely happen. The reading is a prediction of past, present and future based on how your client feels now. Tomorrow that could change. In doing this your prayer must include the removal of negative energy being passed to you. When they are confused you draw three cards separately and read those first to get direction. If still confused return the client’s money and offer a cup of tea and fifteen minute chat. Tell them to come back in a day or two. The reading will be clearer. Your desire for the Knave of Hearts to come back I would assume is your desire for a stable family, a happy home and a partner to be spoilt by and to spoil. Something you have never had. While you hang onto your past this can’t enter your life. You have too many back doors open. To many escape hatches. One is called Wim.”
“Wow long answer, a lot for me to take in,” I finally say as I had listened in awe at everything he had to tell me. “Well I don’t want power, nor power over anyone. I like doing readings. It makes me feel very happy. Bonus is I get paid for doing it. Plus I can do it from home. Very happy. Regarding me holding onto the past, I don’t really see it, though you obviously do. Or is the Knave of Hearts the past I hold onto? Is there a chance he will come back? After all I have his son.”
“Yes do more,” the Wizard encourages me. “Focus on Reiki and energy healing too. You will have a balanced life if you appeal to your clients.” The Wizard pauses for a moment to make sure he has my full attention. “There is no chance he will come back. He is busy with his life. Men don’t have emotional fantasies like women do. Sorry but we are penis driven.”
“Oh okay,” I sigh. “That’s clear then.”
“Penis and power to dominate are some of our basic drivers,” the Wizard explains the strange species men are to us women. “Like food, feeling needed and wanted, feeling important and of value. Stuff like that.”
“What is the problem with Wim that I don’t see?” I demand to know quite defensively. I don’t like it when the Wizard has a dig at Wim.
“Lack of comitment,” the Wizard repeats the same old answer.
“Oh okay,” I sigh again. Same question, same answer, what had I expected?
“Not much effort to bond two families I don’t think,” the Wizard says too nonchalantly for the situation. “Of course this is just a guess. Maybe it’s lack of commitment by you too.”
“It could be,” I admit. “I have no clue what it should look like. Bonding. Commitment. Being spoiled. Do you have an example? Or a couple as an example of how it feels and looks like?”
“Look at couples that are together for more than ten years and still hold hands,” the Wizard nods at me as his cloud has started bopping up and down merrily around my kitchen. “You see them window shopping. This cloud does its own thing.”
“Can’t think of any…” I trail off. “Wim and I hold hands.”
“I will think of examples for you that you might know of,” the Wizard promises. “I guess so. You make a great alternate week couple.”
“My yoga teacher,” I list one example of what looks like a happy couple. “Perfect body, perfect kids, perfect life. Never seen my parents holding hands though. Little Miss Muffet maybe…”
“The problem is most couples forget ‘thou shall not covet’,” the Wizard won’t let me off easily.
“Little Miss Muffet never liked Wim,” I am still desperately trying to think of happy couples who hold hands.
“Little Miss Muffet must have been into you,” the Wizard believes he has unearthed another truth.
“It’s not that hard. Really,” I stop to think about resisting temptation now. “It’s a slight moment of ego when someone shows interest but not really worth it.”
“No its not,” the Wizard confirms happy to note my progress on this level.
“I like being with Wim and I like being alone,” I repeat what I have said so many times before. “Don’t think I’ll close that back door yet. My life is pretty good when I am not panicking. With a bit of work and adjustments it might even get better.”
“Ok. Keep going,” the Wizard encourages this line of thought. “Build your practice. Maybe Wim will heal your families next year.”
“Maybe,” I smile warmly. “Or maybe it is something I should focus on and direct my energy to.”
“Yes you need to get involved too,” the Wizard insists.
“This year be courageous and focus on being a mom and a good friend,” I repeat what my cards had told me in a recent auto-reading.
“Thats a good place to be,” the Wizard smiles at me. I flash him a huge grin, happy to be feeling on top of my game again. “Be grateful too and give charity will help a lot too. Now go make a blog about this please. Share the love….”
“This would help many people,” I reflect on all we have shared in the past hour or so.
“Yes,” the Wizard coaxes me.
“My blog is the only missing piece in the magic puzzle right now,” I suddenly notice a bit taken aback.
“I am going back to my task now,” the Wizard’s cloud starts humming and floating towards the door. “You are a lovely distraction.”
“We’ll see,” I decide to let it all go for the moment. I remember to surrender. “In the meantime I really love it.”
“Figure it out,” the Wizard warns me that surrender is not the same as just sitting back waiting for a very long time.
“Yes go bake your daily bread,” I blow a kiss after him as he leaves.
* Disclaimer : Any resemblance between the fictional characters in this story and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle by chance more than by choice.