“Hi, how are you?” I say absent mindedly and still all in gloom as Bakerman hands me my morning buns. He waves at me gently as he gets back into his van for morning deliveries.
Recent events have me retreating back within myself again. Shutting myself off from the world. Licking my wounds. Finding back my peace and strength.
What really gets to me is this. I am a smart successful woman. I have a very busy schedule balancing taking care of my children ànd my business. All by myself. No help from family whatsoever. Yet my mental health is a worry I face. And we live in a society where mental health issues are frowned upon. It is grounds for backstabbing and gossip.
But I am not alone. There are more people like me out there. Struggling every day to keep it together. To stay sane with all the curve balls life throws at me. To keep it all together no matter how nasty people are with me. To keep smiling and loving towards my children despite the deep anxiety and depression I face when I look inside myself.
It doesn’t matter who you are. Anxiety and depression makes no distinction. And it is easier to confide in my Bakerman who suffers in the same way as I do, than in the people who are supposed to love me who don’t. It’s fucked up and beautiful in some strange way. To help and support each other as we understand all too well how the other feels. The blind leading the blind.
Anyone can have mental health issues. And you can still be successful and fully functional regardless the fear and anxiety.