Ever wondered how it would be to finally feel like yourself again?
“Hi there,” I wave to my Doctor friend. My whole attitude is signalling that this is not one of my best days. “You’re right, there’s another law suit brewing. My mother is sending her stupid emails again making out that we are stopping her from seeing the kids. Poop. So I went down with chocolates for Mother’s day.”
“Thats nice,” the Doctor smiles reassuringly. “Let the children go visit her. If they complain you have a case to stop visits.”
“Hmmmmmmmmm,” I mutter not wanting to share my full thoughts on the matter. “But yes, I do miss English conversation. And I’m never going to be rich and famous… Sigh… Think I already knew that a long time ago. Was worth trying though. Some actually do manage to break through. How is the sea tonight?”
We live in a world that is highly sentimental about parenthood – and therefore unwittingly cruel. This vision of the world concentrates on the high points and deftly edits out the troubles. I believe we should accept with good grace and no guilt that, of course, being a parent is wonderful and difficult; rewarding and depleting; exciting and, at times, unfeasibly tedious. Yet it is unheard of to be fully honest about the strange and profound dual relationship with narcissist mothers.
My blog posts aim to understand and console anyone dealing with the trials of having a narcissistic parent and the pleasures of parenting yourself. I know my writing provokes insight, recognition and a far more forgiving, generous assessment of the challenges you face when dealing with toxic relationships. My advice to you is to promise yourself a gentle way of staying calm around your narcissistic parent, and instead devote your energy and attention to the most arduous, yet deeply fulfilling, job in the world: being a good, loving and nourishing parent to your own child.