“Oh forgot to tell you…” I start out super annoyed as we had previously been discussing parenting and what to expect from a father. “Which moron had another car accident? Bumped a car when changing lanes, kept driving, finally pulled over, filled in a false name on the insurance documents and had the police at his door the very next morning? Such a great daddy example he is for my big kids. They don’t stand a chance with him around.”
“Yes indeed,” the Mentalist agrees I pulled a short straw with my ex-husband. “A very good role model.”
“Such an idiot,” I spit out. How on earth am I to teach my kids values when they are continuously exposed to that kind of behaviour?
“Well all you can do is explain why it is wrong to drink and drive and not stop when you have an accident,” the Mentalist tells me that I still have a parenting role to play in the absurd situations my ex keeps getting himself into.
“Yes I did that,” I retort even more annoyed he thought I would just let this pass and not try to keep my littles on the straight and narrow. “He wasn’t drunk though. Just stupid. Should I contact the people who visited the house?”
“Not yet,” the Mentalist sighs. And he is right, I am too quick to skip from super important subjects to other subjects just as important, but maybe nowhere near the value I place on my children. It’s a delicate balance.
And with this dear readers, I would like you to keep in mind for events which are yet to unfold only days from now, when you will be doubting what is right and what is wrong, what is truth and what is false, who will you believe? The guy who commited the crime of flight and who lied on his insurance documents to dupe the person he had an accident with just to try to save his lily-white ass?
As one year comes to an end and a new one begins, I invariably find myself taking stock of my successes and failures, the plusses and minuses that sum up my efforts and aspirations of the past 12 months.
I am reassing my priorities, setting new goals, and launching into the new year with a real strategy for meeting those goals.
No halfhearted goals apply in my definition of real change. Start to take control of your own wellbeing as you move beyond the self-defeating roles of victim, persecutor, and rescuer, and tap into your inner healer. But first, you must repair the “fight or flight” system, which generates negative emotions that make you sick. As we approach yet another anniversary of our planet’s full rotation around the sun, consider making a commitment to yourself that you can keep.