What’s your sweet spot?

“Good morning,” I smile as I answer my best friend’s call. “How are you? I had this interesting call last night with Louise Laffey from Australia, the one who gave the Financial Freedom course last year with the Chopra Center.”

“Hi Fiona,” the Mentalist greets me in turn. “I am ok. A little down as it has been raining for a few days now and my two baking trays have gone missing.”

“How can baking trays go missing? When did you last use them?” I ask him puzzled. At the same time I remember all the things which have gone missing in my house since we have moved and still in the midst of unpacking boxes. “I like the rain as long as I can stay inside in the warmth and drink tea.”

“I closed the kitchen as we are moving to a new one,” the Mentalist tells me. It strikes me that there seems to be some synchronicity going on here. “So tell about your interesting call.”

“Anyway she is teaching something which sounds like The Secret and The Attraction Principle but focusing on getting rid of the negative feelings first,” I start telling him about the course I am taking with Louise Laffey, the talented energy worker and maker of The Wish game.

“So you packed it away in one of the boxes?” I ask him in an attempt to be interested in lost baking trays as much as I am interested in finding back my winter tops. But I am too caught up in my phone call with down under. “And I wasn’t getting the course because it was all about feeling and I seem to numb out my feelings. So on our call last night she got me to feel and visualise my feelings. And told me it is stuff left from childhood. And then to breathe deeply into the feeling and then remind myself that I am safe, that nothing bad is going to happen. And it worked. Well it worked then on the phone with her. I have this constant fear inside of me. You must know. I think you have told me numerous times. Anyway my exercise now is to do this exercise every morning and every evening.”

“So how much did you pay her do she can grow towards her financial freedom?” the Mentalist asks me bluntly.

“Exactly. I know there is a price attached. But is it worth it or it is worth it?” I blurt out trying to put him off. I mean some things are worth paying for if they actually work and help. “I paid 200 euro for a 6 week course and this one-on-one session was a bonus.”

“What?” the Mentalist booms disgruntled. “So you just acknowledge the feeling and breath deeply and all is right with your world?”

“And you remind yourself that you are safe right now, that nothing bad is going to happen,” I correct him because this is a very important secret ingredient to feeling good within your own skin.

“I see,” the Mentalist states as he is getting a good understanding how this might have helped me. “Well you, one is born every minute. Still I thing our blogs need to evolve to this type of thing.”

“Man, if you had been walking around with constant anxiety like I have then yes, it is worth finding out how to finally thrive in life, not just survive,” I defend my choice. “I agree, this is definitely stuff which should be on our blog.”

“Ok. If it works for you,” the Mentalist attempts to down play my new finding. “Don’t forget to identify the underlying causes.”

“I think she wants to pull me in for more courses with her,” I continue hesitantly about the final part of our call. “Why do I need to identify the underlying causes?”

“Yes she does,” the Mentalist confirms my suspicion in his sarcastic tone. “How else will she pay for holiday house?”

“Mentalist, I remember one time when things went really well for me financially,” I go on very defensively, for I am all for calling out scam artists. But this course holds truth which really does work. I don’t mind paying people’s holiday homes if they are providing a service of value. I also expect to be paid what I am due for outstanding services.

“Because if you don’t the anxiety stays with you,” the Mentalist explains why he thinks the underlying causes need to be identified.

“It was after my divorce. A weight had lifted from my shoulders and I thrived. I want to get back there,” I remind him of the period when I was financially most successful, but rather stupid for not putting more aside for a rainy day like today. “I don’t know why or where the feelings come from. I just know they are there. I also want to see you again.”

“You do know,” the Mentalist won’t let me off so easily. “You just resist change because you don’t really know what the change should be and if you can trust the change. Plus you want the change to happen over night without any pain.”

“I read the Bakerman stories again and really miss you,” I go on ignoring the Mentalist’s accusations and focusing instead on wanting to see him again, face-to-face.

“I miss you too,” the Mentalist admits. And again he predicts: “I hope to be back for a while in the coming weeks.”

“Ok I also need to focus on the right things instead of running around exhausting myself,” I tell him of another one of my realizations. In fact this is something I have been saying for some time now. “Find out what I really love. Which got me questioning whether I truly love my job. I thought that also after your blog article. Is this really what I love doing?”

“I think I once told you you have a big conflict between your upbringing and family values and what you want to be,” the Mentalist reminds me of conversations long past.

“Yes you did tell me that,” I agree as I remember afternoons passed in the sofa with nice cups of tea and naughty smokes.

“Turn this conversation into a blog,” the Mentalist encourages me.

“I try to think of it mainly when I get upset,” I tell him in confidence.

“You really need to focus on what you want to be and let’s your past go,” the Mentalist advises me once again.

“All our conversations become blogs, dear, you know that,” I tell the Mentalist with a little tease. “Yes I do. Seeing my mother tonight for drinks. So excellent practise.”

“Fun fun fun,” the Mentalist takes his turn to tease me back now.

“I am thinking of the champagne,” I remind him of the positives for tonight.

“Yes talk to her as a friend,” the Mentalist encourages me to approach this as relaxed as possible.

“Okay there you go, the thought alone makes me anxious,” I point out annoyed and secretly suspecting this is why ‘she’ toyed around with the date so much. “That anxiety has been building up now for weeks.”

“Remember you are after all a successful woman in your own right and know what you want,” the Mentalist reminds me of all my qualities which tip the balance in my favour.

“Go talk to my mother. Anxiety attack,” I sum up. “No… more along the lines, she can’t hurt me anymore. I am safe.”

“Sure,” the Mentalist acquiesces. “You jump back into the past. You can change it by staying in the present. Just be yourself. She will adapt.”

“She can’t hurt my kids,” I continue reciting my innate fears regarding my own mother. “They are safe.”

“Correct,” the Mentalist confirms. “Plus I am there to back you up.”

“I am doing great,” I go on positively reinforcing myself. “She can’t ruin that at all. And you are there. True. I am very safe. Nothing bad is going to happen. See, deep breaths, it works.”

“You know maybe because you are doing well she might want to see if she can make you into a friend with a common cause,” the Mentalist warns me.

“If I focus on the why, it brings back a story and it misses the feeling,” I go on and at the same time answering why there is no need to identify the underlying causes. “So let go of the story, stay in the present and let it go. Okay yes, but I don’t want to be part of her little schemes to hurt others. I don’t want that. I want out.”

“Pretend it’s a chat for fun,” the Mentalist aids my positive visualisation. “Be polite and gracious. Over play the manors and etiquette.”

“Okay super politeness, yes I can do that,” I tell him as I have always enjoyed an inside giggle each time I managed to keep up my good manners and generosity despite blatant bad manners on behalf of my family.

“Yes indeed you don’t want toxic stuff in your life,” the Mentalist goes over all the important stuff to remain in a positive and healthy place. “So you choose and if she wants to gossip remind her that gossip kills.”

“It does,” I nod but then hesitate about the true meaning. “Really?”

“So they say,” the Mentalist trails off. And he is right, I do remember but prefer not to go there right now. “You have brightened up my day. Thank you.”

“I did? How?” I ask him half happy and half puzzled. “Has it stopped raining?”

“No it’s doing a London impersonation now and drizzling,” the Mentalist laughs light heartedly.

“London is fantastic but British weather is just crap,” I remember numerous city trips to London and the terrible weather the Brits have to endure day in day out. No wonder the majority of them behave the way they do. “When should I contact those people again? I think they were interested because they were telling me the bathroom and kitchen need renewal, and that the radiators are old. That means they want to negotiate, right?”

“Tuesday evening,” the Mentalist tells me wisely. “But be prepared to negotiate.”

“I am,” I nod and I take in all the details. “They will really want to bring the price down, right?”

“Yes,” the Mentalist confirms. “But you counter with the cost of making it their own is for them not for you. You just need to ensure it all works as is.”

“Yes there are absolutely no problems at all in that house, besides the ghost,” I laugh.

“Ok so you drop a few thousand to help with their renovation,” the Mentalist tells me it will be important to meet potential buyers on a middle ground.

“Yes sounds good,” I agree and I mentally prepare myself to hear an offer less favourable than I had anticipated. “My limit is 500k. I drop 25k which covers the cost of bathroom and kitchen.”

“Yes,” the Mentalist decides this would indeed make a very nice deal for all parties concerned.

Dear readers, I would like to remind you to relish every moment. There are moments when you may notice that in fact everything is going well in your world. Cherish those moments and enjoy the very moment. Because you know this good fortune will not last forever. Sooner or later, life will throw another problem your way. Any crisis is surmountable. Those difficult moments too will pass. Yet it is in the very good moments that you are able to stock up on good vibes and positive resources. You will need these savings of positive energy to tap into in times when the going gets tough. How do you save up for a rainy day, you may ask me? Look with awe at the flower that will drop its petals tomorrow. And rejoice at the butterfly that lives for only one day.

Blessings,

Fiona

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