When I look at my daughter, I worry a lot. I worry about her growing up as a girl and all the hardships and challenges she will face in life. All because she is a girl. I want lots of things for her, besides happiness, being successful and finding her path in life. I want her to have equal rights on the workfloor. I want her to be able to travel the world and discover the beauty of life without any bigotry or misogynistic guy hurting her. In short, I want to make sure that my daughter grows up tough enough to face the world and still feeling empowered.
I am always mindful when speaking to my daughter, or when I interact with any young girl. Often when I teach digital analytics workshops at universities, I add in a few jokes and comments to guide young women on into life. I tell them how important it is for them to live their life to the fullest, and don’t they dare sit around waiting on some guy. Because ladies, no guy is worth it. Really – sorry guys.
So much attention goes to how we look as women. Of course I make sure that I reassure my daughter she is the most beautiful creature on this earth, and so are all her other friends. I want her to feel good about herself. But I also put a lot of focus on what she’s doing, what she’s accomplishing and where she’s failing. The failures are only opportunities to learn and grow, and to go back to do better next time.
Anyway, the main focus is on teaching my daughter that it is more important what she is DOING than how she LOOKS. And she gets that message loud and clear. She loves dressing up with all things frilly and glitter. And at the same time she likes to run wild in the fields, climb trees and play at Darth Vader.
So every now and again I will provide her with the intuitive knowledge that massage therapy is a great way to relax and to feel good about yourself. We like to share these mother – daughter moments together. It allows us to come together again. To spend some time on girl talk. Having our nails done. Enjoying a wonderful massage, together.
Does this seem like a contradiction with what I have said above ? Not at all. Massage therapy gives you the feeling that everything is ok. The feeling of freedom to enjoy the choices we make. It gives us the intimate moment and ability to spontaneously share our ideas and dreams. When we have our bodies massaged, we feel pure bliss. It is in these moments that our minds are the most focused. I believe my daughter is definitely set on the right track in life. She is both beautiful and talented !
— Carobelle, Keerbergen, Belgium (March 2017)
I love to treat myself to a massage at least once a month as it guarantees a few happy and calm days will ensue for my body. When I reconnect with my body at this deeper level, I am always reminded that inner peace is available to you at any moment. It’s a refuge amidst life’s demands, distractions, uncertainties and tough times. Massage therapy is one of the keys which help me develop my inner calmness as my superpower.
The power of ceremony
Massage therapy is in itself a clear channel for the expression of love in this moment. It’s an opportunity to accept that you are perfect with your imperfections. Like many women, I know all to well the devastating experience of depression and self-judgment. Yet I assure you that you can approach yourself as perfect even with your perceived flaws. It’s the imperfections which make you beautiful. So go on, embrace the present moment.
Mom & baby massage
As a mom, I am aware that I play a critical role in establishing the social and emotional anchor points for my children. With my daughter Lilly, our connection starts from within our girl power, our womanhood. For my sons I am their first connection to the sacred feminine. My daughter has a similar relationship with her father, linking her to the masculine side of society.
Certainly, there are light and dark sides to any gender role. I cannot define myself in any one single term. I’m a mother. A lover. An entrepreneur. A girlfriend. A bitch at times too, oh yes. As a partner, or a mother, or any other role you fulfil… it is impossible to meet all emotional needs. I cannot be everything for my partner. And likewise, I cannot incorporate the role of an entire society to bring up my sons. If I would try to be their one and only everything in life, I would be setting them up for unrealistic expectations and deep disappointments in the future. Nobody can offer total emotional support.
I find it important as a mother to embrace both the yin and the yang expressions in life. My children need to learn to express themselves crystal clear – no wishy-washy subtleness in this family. All interactions they learn now will serve as a basis for future intimate relationships. My relationship with my children is an important stepping stone to the social dynamics of the relationships they will form later on in life.
I would almost apologize for the not-so-very flattering images of myself in my mom & baby massage. But my little darling babe looks so peaced out, how could I not share these with you. What did you expect to look like during a massage ?
— Carobelle, Belgium (September 2016)