Fit and fierce milf

I am 42. I don’t like sitting around wasting time. In fact, I would like to be done with my workouts in less time than it takes to check a couple of emails? I have no patience to sit around longer than an hour to have my nails done. And the hairdresser? That really pushes me to extremes of utter despair. I want all of this fast self-care to give me the results as if you’ve spent all day doing yoga and a strengthening, toning, tightening cardio-type exercise at the gym like Britney Spears. I need to step it all up a notch. Not only do I want to look and feel fit and fierce, on a professional level I also want to feel more empowered in far less time. No one believes the amount of online courses I take each year. More importantly, want to be strong, fit ànd happy.

“Good morning,” I beam at my blurry friend. “I’m reading the psychology of persuasion. Think I need it. BNP won’t raise my fee. And I didn’t get that new client.”

“No they have a budget,” Doctor Who encourages me not to give up. “Who is the author of persuasion?”

“Robert something,” I answer short and confused. “So what next? So ‘because’ won’t work with BNP? What about Google? Already had 3 virtual interviews.”

“I see,” Doctor Who continues on the first line of thought. “You found him on YouTube?”

“Amazon,” I correct him.

“Sadly there is no easy road,” Doctor Who shakes his head. “Google ‘mentalist’.”

“Mentalist? Evangelist you mean. Sounds nice,” I go on telling him about my ongoing job application for the world’s largest search engine. “Wondering about pay. You see now I am out of the deep mess I was in but I’m still only just managing. I need to find something great again. It used to be great. I need to find that back. And then even better than that.”

“I understand,” the Doctor nods.

“I don’t,” I shake my head. “What went wrong?”

“You might have hung onto the past for too long,” the Doctor suggests. “Just a thought.”

“Possible,” I ponder. “The past in work? Hmmm. Like not learning new stuff?”

“Yes,” the Doctor nods mysteriously.

“I’m doing that now though,” I tell him defensively.

“Ok good,” the Doctor nods at me again with a twinkle in his eye. “It will take a little time to make the change.”

“A lucrative one. I hope,” I smile relieved my Doctor friend still believes it will all work out in the end. “How are the sarnies? Ever been to Oban? Scotland?”

“How is Wim progressing?” the Doctor evades my question.

“5 of the 12 treatments done,” I give him an update on the chemo treatment. “He’s doing quite well. Working 80%. We went to the solicitor’s yesterday. Sorting out marriage contract. And register that if anything happens to me, Wim will take care of Willem. Don’t want him going to an institution. Or worse, to my family. No way. Au-pair is still stuck in administration. Heleen will have had her baby by the time she gets here.”

“Cancel the au-pair if it’s a problem,” the Doctor tells me shortly. “Use a reputable agent.”

“It’s Belgian administration. Not the agency’s fault,” I tell him frustrated. “And I’ve already paid.”

“I see,” the Doctor nods only half listening to what I’m saying. “Well use them both to do analytics.”

“And social. It’s a great plan,” I feel a false sense of enthusiasm here. Mainly frustration. The Doctor doesn’t seem to know that it’s not all that straight forward. “But I need customers. Big plans and doing and learning stuff but need clients. So bummed I didn’t get that other client. Was counting on that to meet this month’s target. I’m not going go make my target. How common is the name Francis? Francis liked my latest blog post. Francis also happens to be the name of the young camera man. Francis is also the name of president Frank Underwood in house of cards…”

Instead of faffing about, I am going to get started on my Digital Psychology course today!

Lovingly moving forward,



Is there someone looking over your shoulder?

“Poop I didn’t get that big client. Poop poop poop,” I am stomping around my study in front of my webcam Skyping with Bakerman. “So business wise I’m not there yet… Mommy wise still learning. Friendly but autistic. I’m a catastrophe. You should send me your sarnie. Wonder how long it would take to get here.”

“It would be a science experiment by the time it gets there,” Bakerman winks at me.

“It would be alive,” I joke lightening up in my doomy clouds. “It could wave at me.”

Did you feel interpellated? I don’t know about you, but I am the only one staring at my screen. There is nobody looking over my shoulder.

Which is why it sounds funny sometimes to write a blog post using plurals, like “we” or “ourselves”, even if I might mean “you and me” or “all of us” opposed to “all of them”.

Dear reader, I am talking to you. Maybe not original, but at least you know I am really talking to you. And I’m not hiding my self away behing a fictive group of “we”.

I’m a person too. I love talking face to face. Make it personal.

Love personally,